Funhouse

You know how scientific reports find that people think that they are better looking than they actually are; well, apparently, the bedroom mirror agrees. What I imagine in my head is always hotter than all get out, but after I saw myself in the mirror, I should consider myself lucky that my wife didn’t just get up and get out. I prefer to remain nearsighted and much rather see what’s on my plate up close than see it through glass anyway. Let’s just say that when I saw myself in the mirror, and if I weren’t busy, I might have run myself, leaving my gorgeous wife in the hands of that Yeti. It was one of those quick peripheral glances, and it reminded me of one of those grainy Bigfoot sighting photos, and it gave me quite the start. I don’t want to get carried away more than I already have with the details because that would be defeating the purpose, but all I’m saying is that a good imagination is apparently a healthy and essential gift, especially for my wife, but I digress.

It was a night out on the town, and you know that feeling you get after you’ve had a few drinks and that liquid courage kicks in, and somehow you begin to believe that miraculously, you’re the shit? Well, for me, that includes thinking that I’m Magic Mike, popping off like a male peacock all cocky, flirty and extra amorous, or as the wife says, just extra extra. But I’m convinced nonetheless, and manage to wind us both up into believing that we should, apparently have sex right there on the dance floor, but thankfully, the wife always has the wherewithal to convince me that we probably should go home to act the ass. Notwithstanding, I believe that I got her right where I want her and we decide to take this party on the road. So we Uber home, and strut, well if you believe walking like a couple drunk sailors with sea legs strutting, into the house where she allows me to continue with my shenanigans.

Thankfully, she too is several sheets to the wind, and hence tolerant of my braggadocio, or just as blissfully ignorant, and we “flow” into the bedroom like we’re on dancing with the stars, hey, it’s my story. Remember now, to me, I was all Brad Pitt in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” with Angelina Jolie, but when in actuality, I was probably more Rob Schneider in “Deuce Male Gigolo”, but I’d prefer to stick with the former. So there I am all dominate male in control and shit, as I grab her by the back of the neck, kiss her hard and grab her by the pussy, what, when you’re famous…. Plus, she was excited by my aggressiveness and feigned submission as I tore open her blouse to expose her beautiful breasts. I kissed and massaged her nipples into puckered peaks before I wrestled her jeans and panties off and dropped to my knees. I kissed her vertical smile and was immediately hypnotized by her delicious bouquet. I pushed my face into her, pushing her back onto the edge of the bed, where I continued to spread her legs open and kissed up the insides of her smooth thighs while she leaned back on her arms and watched.

Have you ever wondered what was at the end of the rainbow? Well, it couldn’t compare to this. She was so happy to see me; we were both literally drooling, me at the bit and her nether mouth in anticipation. I dove in, spreading her with my face while dancing around her growing and pleading nub until I wasn’t the only one biting at the bit, as she rolled her hips to get my mouth around her clit. See, this is the watching that I’m talking about. She watched me devour her delicious pussy, and it must have been a sight, because she soon shook with her first orgasm while conditioning my holiday beard. I was beside myself with her excitement as my own raged between my legs. My cock ached to be inside her and she must have agreed, because she tore at the buttons of my jeans when I stood up between her legs. She wrestled my fat cock out and told me ravenously that she wanted to suck me, and I pushed her back roughly onto the bed denying her, as I reminded her of the golden rule, “not until it’s properly flavored”. She puffed exacerbated until I quickly assuaged her by filling her malevolently, to which she responded “harder”. I didn’t notice it straight away, but she was suddenly extra turned on and demanding, talking gangs of shit herself which caused me to pause for a moment. I diverted my view from of my cock continuously breaking her to her face to find her gaze diverted. She was looking off to the side and the look on her face was enthralled as she exclaimed “fuck me”, and my curiosity forced me to follow her gaze. The full-length mirror on the back of our bedroom door was apparently open just right for her, but for me, it gave me a start. I obviously didn’t see what she was seeing because she pulled me inside her hard with her legs and barked, “don’t stop”. What I had focused on was the giant Yeti fucking my wife and immediately thought that she must really really love me.

Come to find out, she was finally able to see from my point of view as my cock broke in and out of her and just how amazing it is to see my glistened cock slide in and out of her. Her breathy appreciation matched my cadence each time it withdrew from her hungry nether mouth and how it stretched to accommodate as it swallowed me whole again and again. Her heels dug into my backside to pull me harder and faster into her depths as she howled and cursed her demands and approval. I shook it off and looked away from the Sasquatch between my wife’s legs and back down to the views I like best. I watched the passion in her face as she enjoyed what I’m always privy to and then down her gorgeous body as it rocked with my hammering blows until once again, we were one entity sharing two different perspectives of the same show. I drove her, dipping my hips to hit her just right, until I could see her next climax build on my cock, and her tummy fluttered and body jerked in another orgasm.

I feared that last climax might have been the big one, but she put my fears to rest as she kicked me away and slid off the bed onto her knees to take my freshly glazed cock into her hungry mouth. She was ravenous as she pulled me deeper into her throat with her hands on my ass like she was trying to choke herself. It was so fucking hot as I watched her and noticed that her gaze was again diverted away from her plate, well indirectly anyway. I followed her gaze again, and I knew it; she was so turned on by being able to watch herself. She pushed herself harder and deeper than ever before and I had to admit, that it was pretty fucking hot watching us from the mirror, well watching her. We were both so turned on by it; she was trying to break me, and I was willing to let her. When I allowed myself to come just a little to see how’d she react, she got even more excited, and sucked me harder and encouraged me to cum with her demanding hungry moans, with one anxious hand stroking my shaft, and the other cradling my ever shrinking under-carriage. I couldn’t help myself even if I wanted, as I pumped myself into the back of her throat, filling her with my waves of seed. She swallowed and didn’t stop, even after taking the second tsunami wave and never once taking her eyes off the funhouse mirror. To both our surprise and jubilation, my cock stayed hard as she withdrew it and cleaned it up like ice cream dripping down the cone. She then stood up, turned and crawling up onto the bed, pulling me behind her by my cock while looking mischievously back over her shoulder to make sure she had the perfect view and angle in the mirror while we got back in the line for the fun house ride.

Happy Hump Day!!